Tropical Depression...Isn't that an Oxymoron?

While listening to the splatter of rain on my roof from Tropical Depression 16, which has now escalated into Tropical Storm Nicole, it occurred to me that the term "tropical depression" just doesn't sound right.  What I picture when I think of the tropics is warm sunshine, a fruity umbrella drink in my hand, and my toes in the water and my ass in the sand (thank you, Zac Brown Band.)  What's depressing about that?

In a moment of calculated spontaneity I thought I'd make it my personal business to make a public secret of some of my worst favorite culinary-related oxymorons and list them in orderly confusion. I hope you find this seriously funny, predictably random, and sinfully good.

All natural artificial flavor, bland spice, boneless ribs, cafeteria food, canned fresh, catfish, cold toast, daily special, disiplined gluttony, fish farm, fresh raisins, fresh sour cream, frugal gourmet, good fast food, Grape Nuts, ham steak, hot chili, kosher ham, meatless meat, mild jalapeno, non-alcoholic beer/wine, non-fat cream, oven fried, semi-boneless, sweet tart, turkey ham, twelve-ounce pound cake, vanilla fudge, and white chocolate. 

Well, that's all I have time for right now because I have to prepare for a board meeting.  Therefore, I won't be cooking dinner tonight but if I were to do so, on the menu would be - you guessed it - jumbo shrimp!

Cheers!!